Editing

Lately, I have felt the need to Edit. I am not talking about the kind of edit you do with writing though that probably wouldn't hurt either because I have noticed many grammar and spelling errors in my blog post. That is what I get for writing past 10p most nights. Anyway, I am talking about the kind of editing one does with their life. So many good choices out there it is hard to choose; however, after flipping out on my children the other day I think I need to edit how I spend my time. I certainly would not win the Mother of the Year award for the way I acted the other day even though they kind of deserved it, and who can blame me given that I get only about 5 hours a sleep a day The problem is I am not very good at saying no or realizing I can't do it all. One would think by the age of 40 I would have it all figured out, but I guess not. I do realize that I am not alone in this problem, so I will not beat myself up too much. The thing is that at the end of the day what kind of relationship am I going to have with my children if all I do is end up yelling at them all them time because I am stressed out. I think they would much rather go to fewer places or not do as many fun things if the things we do are happy. Do you ever find yourself in this situation? Do you wake up with at long list of things you feel you need to do with your children like read certain books, play certain games with them, crafts you have seen on blogs, places to go on bucket list, and that is all on top of the things you need to just to maintain your home. Speaking of maintaining home, I am slowly learning it is OK not to have a house that looks like no one lives in it. This is a hard one for me because for years I have defined myself by having the cleanest house in the neighborhood. Also, not having a clean house has terrified me because it was just something that wasn't really a priority for my mother and it kind of embarrassed me. Writing this makes me feel like maybe I need to go to therapy. The thing is I am hoping by writing it that I will begin making the steps necessary to begin having a more balanced life. How do you find balance? How do you choose what activities make it into your day? Do you have any tips for me on how I can feel more balanced?
p.s. Roman learned how to write his name.  He is now beginning to recognize the letter of the alphabet and can almost say the alphabet without making too many mistakes.  I love how he writes the alphabet in the air with his finger.
p.s.s. he told me that witches creep him out after seeing a witch in a Halloween book
p.s.s.s. he told me I had great tricks when I made pizza dough last night from scratch.  Boy do I love this kid.  He is way too sweet!

Comments

I beat myself up on days I waste time and don't get what needs to be done done...but only have one child that is a teenager..balance is easier because she needs me less and less. Give yourself a break and do what you can do...your family is number 1 and they know it.

Kiddos to Roman!
Ashley Sisk said…
That's a really interesting point - editing our life. That gives me a lot to think about.
kari said…
i know what you mean. I have those days where I find myself shouting at my kids a lot, and it's always towards the end of the day. i try to give myself time outs when that happens - even if it is just 10 mins!
know that you are the best mom for your boys.
Emily M. said…
oh boy, i know EXACTLY how this feels. and have absolutely no tips, unfortunately, as i'm in the midst of it myself. hang in there.
Jen said…
You are definitely not alone! The way I find balance is by evaluating the things I should do to have the most impact for the future. I tend to make huge to do lists for myself and not spend quality time with my kids. I love now that I can incorporate them into some of the things that need to be done, but I also try to just "be" with them since my tendency is to always "do."
Francesca said…
I think it's good to have flexible plans for the day, or things that you would like to do - else, your time may just slip away. But plans are good only when they shape your day, not when they dictate how things should be. Well done to Roman!
flowtops said…
There is no one way to go about it. Structure is good, but as Francesca said, go with the flow is even better.

Mothers are the ones who invented guilt, I am sure of that ;-)

Nicki
Danelle said…
I think everyone feels this way sometimes, at different times in life. The last few months have been more stressful for me with one starting high school and early morning seminary, and all my boys in different schools. One thing I've realized is that you don't have to do those special activities very often to make memories for your kids, and sometimes my boys aren't in the mood to do them anymore than I am. Also, we plan a lot of our outings/activities as well as doing scout and mutual stuff as FHE activities or lessons so we can kill 2 birds with one stone. I'm typically the cleanest house in the neighborhood person too, but I've also made peace with having certain areas of my house clean, while others, like my kids rooms, are usually a mess and I can close the door if I need to. And if the kitchen is clean but the cupboards are a little disorganized, that's okay because I can close those too. I've just had to accept this because of sheer exhaustion and literally not being able to keep up with everything. One good thing about being tired all the time is that there are certain things you just stop caring about. :)
Its the same with me and my house, I try too keep the kitchen clean and the bathroom but I am trying not to be annoyed by all the toys, clean laundry in the basket etc.
Sometimes its just good to sit down and play with your kids or not sit down and go out and play basketball,soccer , tennis....and forget about cleaning..
You dont always have to go playses, sometimes the kids just want to be home. Relax. That is the thing I have had to learn. To relax at home is not the same as being lazy.
Emily said…
Oh, I can totally relate! I just keep reminding myself to relax, to let go a little, to try to enjoy just spending time with my children without having a solid plan. It doesn't always work. I tend to fixate -- wanting to clean a certain way, cook a certain way, play a certain way, etc. -- but I've noticed the more I hold on, the more the pressure mounts (for all of us) and the more I let go, the more fun we have together.

Good luck! You're certainly not alone!
I've gotta admit, I am so glad you posted this!! I love a clean house, but sometimes I do go overboard!! And now I am feeling like I really have to take the time to rest before the new baby comes, but my list pops in my head...dishes, laundry, organizing...
Arctic Mum said…
Hi, yes, try to relax more. I yell at my kids too sometimes, and it's no fun. I've experienced that it goes best having three home alone (and you're having four..) when I'm letting go: no cleaning (can do that the next day or at night, or rent a cleaner..), no tidying, easy dinner (hotdogs) and Tangled on DVD. Or I do pearls with them. And they don't get a story at bedtime, but a audio book. We make easy dinners in the weeks, and a little bit more complicated in the weekends. I don't think the kids care, I think they just appreciate us being there in the moment - not preoccupied. Make it easy for yourself, don't overdo it. And you know I read that vacuuming is more healthy for your home that cleaning in the traditional way. So I just hoover...You don't want a burned out mama! I try to do more of what I want, rather than what I feel I must (but it's not easy). Also we have just one activity per week, instead of rushing around. Good luck, keep me updated on this!

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