Holiday Purchase

Usually, coming up with a post for corner view or Tuesdays at communal global is not so difficult. Aren't I the Travel Bug who has been all over the world? I have plenty of holiday photos. However, I just haven't been feeling in the holiday mood. See my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while and it just hasn't been happening. I debated showing you pictures of the black and blue marks that are up and down my arms as they have drawn blood from my arms doing test after test. You would think they would just do them all at once, but I guess it doesn't work that way. I know it sounds crazy that we want another baby. We have three beautiful children. That is more than your average American family and definitely more than your average European family. I never even wanted a large family. I am an only child. I thought when we had 2 we were finished; especially with two pretty wild boys. My husband wanted more and I obliged. Everyone teased us and said, "Oh, you must be going for the girl." Truthfully, we were. I had always dreamed about having a daughter who I would dress up in pink, indulge her with American Girl doll, and play tea party. Then when Roman was diagnosed with having a heart condition. I felt guilty that I hadn't just prayed for a healthy child. After he was born, this wave of love washed over me that I have never felt before. I also heard a voice that told me that I needed to have one more child, and not because I want a daughter. I know that if I have another child it is most likely going to be a boy. Our family isn't complete. I waited for a while to see if the feeling would go away because maybe it was just the postpartum hormones. The ache did not go away. It is still here and it is roaring like a lion, and with each cycle I try to tell myself that if it is meant to be it will be. I am sad. What is even more frustrating is that they can't come up with any reason why I am not getting pregnant. I think it would almost be easier if there was a reason, so that I could just move on. In the end, I know I am blessed. I know that there are some woman who will never have an opportunity to be a mother. I have been blessed three times. Why the honey photo? Well, at the moment honey gives me joy, and I have started collecting it on my travels. The three honey's in my pantry right now are a lavender honey from Washington, a creamy honey from Savannah, Georgia, and a very mild flavored honey from Italy. Which reminds me, that I need to go to whole foods and buy some Sunflower honey from France. What do you collect when on holiday? To see more Tuesdays around the world go to Communal Global and for more Corner Views visit Theresa who is hosting Corner View right now while Jane is shooting photos of the bulls in Spain.