Frustrated!

Tonight I just got back from a trip to Nashville. I was there visiting a old friend from High School. It was fantastic seeing her after way to many years. Ok, so you are wondering what I am frustrated about? It is my children. I love them to death and would do just about anything for them. Though I am far from a perfect mom, I feel like I give them the world. Not in toys, but with my love, in visiting place, adventures, activities that I feel that will make them be well rounded. Maybe this is my problem and I give them too much. I just don't know. See the oldest and the middle child do not get along. The oldest is super competitive and the middle thinks he needs to compete because he wants to be like his older brother. It is getting to be a real problem. I would say they made about %50 of this trip a total nightmare. How?
1. Oldest child took middle child's DS game that he bought with his own money and hid it so he could play it later. Middle child cried just about all 4 hours on the trip. Only found out later that evening when older child began playing game. Middle child punched older child and mom took the DS games and players away.
2. Next day verbal fighting ensued over lose of games which made me decide to not give them back. Middle child didn't want to share with older child and older child would not move away from the subject. Day turned out to be just fine without them and children fell fast asleep in bed.
3. Went to church and then visited friend. Older son was pretty good, but middle child wanted to torment the middle child who is a girl of the other family. We left before the situation became out of control and no longer fun for anyone. Even though I would have loved to stay.
4. Day 4 we realized that we could not find one of the DS's (just in case you don't know what a DS is it is like a Game boy which is a handheld video game devise). We spend an hour searching the hotel everywhere. We took everything out of the car. We took everything out of our suitcases. Couldn't find it. Older child convinced that middle child took it and hid it. Verbal conversation ensued. Also couldn't find shoe of the youngest child. Drove back to friends house just in case items were left there and only found one shoe. Because it was so stressful, I told them no one could use remaining DS. While at the gardens oldest child feel in a pond because he was looking at a frog. Really though he didn't listen to me. I got mad because we had to drive 4 hours back and I still had one stop left.
Now it is late and oldest child is now missing one of his shoes that got wet in the pond and will need in the morning for P.E. He does not have another pair and managed to break two pairs of Crocs. Ugh! I do not know what to do to get them to work with each other. The middle loves the oldest but does not like the way his older brother treats him, so he is learning to retaliate. Any suggestions for this frazzled mom?

Update:
I just wanted to let you know, that it turns out the only thing that was lost was a tennis shoe. The other items in all the stress and drama of my children were actually stolen from my hotel room. I don't know if that should make me feel better or not. It took me a day to realize that one of my bags was stolen. Is that not crazy. If you would like to cheer me up, you can tell me your crazy stories.

Comments

Em said…
I don't have any real advice, except hang in there. I think every parent can empathize with you and has felt similar frustrations. Good luck.
Kelly said…
When they fight, it is both of their faults and they get a punishment. No negotiations. I have a consequence jar. Whenever you think of a chore, write it on a piece of paper and stick it in there. You should be able to collect quite a few. Pulling weeds and cleaning grout lines are some of my favorites. They get to pull out a consequence. My kid hate it.

I think the best thing you can do when they fight is put them to work. Lots of hard work. If they are going to be miserable, it might as well benefit you somehow.

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