Harris Graduates

Hello!  How are you?  I hope you are having a good start to your week.  We just got home from Utah last night.  We went to Utah to attend the graduation of our son Harris from BYU.  He obtained a degree in Computer Science Engineering.  We left last Wednesday and flew into Salt Lake.  Harris met us in the city and we went to Benihanas for lunch/dinner.  Afterward, we walked around the city and then drove out to our hotel in Murray.  On Thursday, we got up early and drove down to Provo where BYU is located.  Provo is about an hour south of Salt Lake City.  The graduates had to line up at around 8:30 a.m. for the ceremony at 10.  Sadly, I wasn't able to find Harris before the ceremony, but we were surprised that we bumped into old friends from my husband's graduate school days.  The Alreds now live in Utah having previously lived in Virginia. Their son was graduating.  I am so bummed that I didn't think to take a picture.  We also ran into a young woman named Emily from church who was graduating. Emily graduated high school the same year Harris did but went to a different high school.  The ceremony was wonderful and afterward, we took pictures. I grabbed Jamba Juice before attending the ceremony for his college which is the School of Physical Science and Mathematics.  It was impressive to hear what the doctoral students studied and where they will be going after graduation.  We are so proud of Harris. Following the ceremony, my husband and son grabbed some ice cream while I went shopping in the bookstore. I had strict instructions to buy a few things for the girls.  Just as we were leaving, we ran into our friends' daughter Emily and her husband Skyler. Skyler graduated that day in statistics and is headed to work in the National Lab in New Mexico. Just a note for myself, our friends Mary Maycock, Alex and Zach Rahm, Brynn Davis, Jack Damniamno, Brook Anderson, Maggie Jenson, and Talmadge Lamb also graduated. Oh, I almost forgot and we ran into our friend Tom Burton whose son-in-law was graduating.  It was so much fun to see our friends and celebrate their joy. On Friday, it was pouring rain, so we just hung out in the hotel where we soaked in the hot tube and watched some Netflix. Since Harris didn't have a place to stay he joined us and for dinner, we drove up to Park City where we went to Ruth Chris Steak House for dinner.  The crazy thing was that it was snowing.  The food was wonderful.  

                                            Harris friend Jack who he met on the first day of school.

Elder Palmer challenges new BYU grads to stay focused, stay centered — and then recenter

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By Jason Swensen  

Updated

21 APR 2022

1:25 PM MDT

PROVO, Utah — Focus. Center. Recenter: These three action words anchored a trio of tips shared by Elder S. Mark Palmer to the more than 6,800 students graduating Thursday, April 21,  from Brigham Young University.

The event, hosted inside a packed Marriott Center, marked a welcome return to a traditional commencement exercise at the Church-sponsored university following a pause in such gatherings during the pandemic.

First, focus on what one can control

In the summer of 2020, Elder Palmer, a member of the Presidency of the Seventy, was enjoying an unexpected lunch with President Russell M. Nelson. The COVID-19 pandemic was causing fear and suffering in the African nations where Elder Palmer was serving, so he asked the Church president if he had a personal message for the African Saints he was serving.

President Nelson “paused thoughtfully and then gave this profound answer: ‘Tell them that some things are out of our control. So we should focus on those things that we can control. Specifically, how we live our lives. We need to live our lives in such a way that we are always ready to meet our Maker.”

Many of Thursday’s freshly minted BYU grads are likely anxious about an uncertain future. They will have little control over wars, pandemics, inflation or recessions, or even how they will be treated by a boss or coworker.

“But you can control whether you respond to such events with faith or with fear,” said Elder Palmer. “I have watched our Prophet and Apostles respond to crises and suffering from deep emotion. But never with fear. The Savior taught us to ‘be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you” (Doctrine and Covenants 68:6).

A person can also control how he or she treats others, especially those who are disagreeable. Focus on applying “these radical teachings” of Jesus Christ: Love your enemies. Pray for them. Forgive all.

“Let us choose to live our lives by focusing on what we can control, rather than what we cannot control,” he said.

Second, center one’s faith and life on Jesus Christ

More than three decades ago, then-Elder Howard W. Hunter made a profound promise to BYU students:  “If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and His restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong.”

So, asked Elder Palmer, what does a Christ-centered life look like?

“A Christ-centered life is being faithful to covenants.  It is loving and serving others. A Christ-centered life rejoices in eternal family relationships.  It prioritizes the riches of eternity over the riches of the world. A Christ-centered life humbly accepts that ‘to be learned is good, if [we] hearken unto the counsels of God’ (2 Nephi 9:29). 

“A Christ-centered life is full of joy.”

Elder Palmer acknowledged that troubles and challenges visit everyone at some point.

Twelve years ago, his own daughter, Jasmine, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. That difficult news left Elder Palmer and his wife, Sister Jacqueline Ann Palmer, feeling helpless and confused. After much prayer, he received a defining answer.

“I felt an answer that, no matter the outcome, I must go forward with faith and trust in Jesus Christ. All I could do was surrender my will to His. Eventually, a sense of peace came, and my pleading prayer changed to a prayer of thanks. I thanked God for His love and for the blessings of the gospel in our lives.”

Since then, Jasmine has endured uncertainty and difficult medical treatments. But she also experienced the miracles of marriage and children. Through it all, she has centered her life on Christ.

“She too shares in the assurance that no matter what happens in the future, nothing will ever go permanently wrong, thanks to eternal covenants made with a loving God,” said Elder Palmer.

Third, recenter often

A GPS or mapping app delivers a “recenter” message whenever its user drifts off track from the desired destination.

“On our journey to eternal life, there will be times when we get off course and need to recenter our lives on Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. Recentering is a lifelong process,” he said.

As President Nelson often teaches, “recentering” occurs by repenting daily, partaking of the sacrament, attending the temple, and learning to hear Him.

Elder Palmer added: “These are the very ways we recenter our lives and stay focused on the covenant path leading to eternal life.”

Many of the Book of Mormon’s most powerful holy men — Nephi, Moroni and Helaman — left similar counsel to their readers and loved ones: Believe in Christ and build one’s foundation on the Lord.

 “As you leave with diplomas in hand, I invite you to focus on what is within your control, to center your faith and your life on Jesus Christ and His gospel, and as needed from time to time, to recenter your life on Him,” he concluded. “I promise that doing so will lead to true and lasting joy.”

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Elder Palmer’s tips were welcome counsel for Elías Bobadilla Valencia, an accountancy graduate from Connecticut.

“What resonated with me is the reminder that what I control, more than anything in my life, is my response to my situations,” he said. “I want to always choose peace and love, especially as a disciple of Christ — knowing I represent Him, my family, and BYU.”

President Worthen: The power of the ‘Propinquity Effect‘

In his Thursday commencement remarks, BYU President Kevin J Worthen taught the “propinquity effect”  — a phenomenon that explains the tendency of individuals to form close relationships with people they repeatedly encounter.

Graduates, he added, can do three things to make “propinquity” a more positive factor in their lives.

First, consciously seek in-person contact with others.

“In a world where relationships are increasingly ephemeral and digital, it is important to take the time and effort to visit face-to-face where the propinquity effect can have full positive impact.”

Second, consciously seek positive in-person interaction “with those with whom you disagree.”

People are increasingly polarized with respect to their views on almost every issue. But interacting with those whose opinions are different can foster trust and respect.

 “If our in-person interaction with those with whom we disagree includes serving with them in some common endeavor, the relationship will deepen and be more enduring. … Frequent close interaction while serving others will not only bless those we serve but also create bonds of propinquity that will help us deal positively with our differences.”

And third and most importantly, the “propinquity effect” can have a deep impact if applied to one’s relationship with the Savior.

“While literal, physical face-to-face contact with Christ may be rare during our mortal existence, Christ invites us to have regular and frequent close communication and contact with Him, with the promise that our relationship with Him will deepen and strengthen as a result,” President Worthen said.