Speaking Out

Recently, the Times featured an article on Hannah Neeleman. If you are not a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints member or on Social Media, you probably have no idea who she is and why she would even be featured in the Times. Hannah Neeleman is a social media influencer. She is a wife, a mother to eight children, a farmer, a business owner, a Julliard-trained ballerina, and was recently Mrs. USA. Why am I writing about her?  In a recent article from the Times, they depicted Neeleman as this oppressed and obviously brainwashed woman. They took everything about this young woman and made it ugly.  They nicknamed her a Tradwife.  Social media and the news has blown up with opinions regarding this article.  Neeleman herself has since followed up on social media, saying that she was shocked when the article came out and how it had completely twisted everything she loves and has chosen about her life to be ugly. At age 17, Neeleman went to New York to study ballet at Julliard.  After being in New York for many years and meeting her husband, Daniel (who happens to be the son of ex-Jet Blue owner David Neeleman) decided to leave New York to start a farm in Utah. They own a ship directly to the consumer cattle farm and are just beginning to venture into dairy farming. Hannah's year-long platform as Mrs. USA was Know Your Farmer, Know Your Food. She advocates for getting back to basics, eating healthy food, and supporting American Farmers, not just ranchers.  On social media, her content ranges anywhere from advertisements for her beef to making her own mozzarella cheese, taking care of her children, to an occasional testimony on her love of Jesus Christ. Hannah is far from oppressed. She isn't brainwashed by the church and its traditional values. She loves her life. She truly loves being a mother, and while it may appear she has it all or can do it all, she admits she doesn't, and it can be hard sometimes.  She admits this in a matter-of-fact tone and not one of complaint. She is filled with gratitude for the life she has and knows she is blessed.  Why am I speaking out in support of this woman?  I am deeply saddened that there are so many voices of criticism about the life she has chosen. Isn't this what the women of Gloria Steinem's era fought for?  The right to work if one wants to or the right to be a stay-at-home mom.  What is even sadder is that many of the critics are women. They go on social media weighing in with comments that Hannah Neeleman and her "Trad Life" are triggering. I get that not everyone wants a traditional life.  I get some women wanted that life, and it didn't work out for them because either they could not afford to stay home, they were forced to go back to work because of divorce, or they tried being a stay-at-home wife, and they did not feel fulfilled.  Honestly, it is OK if being a stay-at-home wife isn't every woman's dream. In reality, being a stay-at-home wife and mom is a luxury today as, more often than not, most homes need two incomes to survive. I am very blessed to fall into the category of staying at home with my children. I am not stupid, I am not brainwashed, I could go to work if I wanted to and do work as a photographer at my own discrepancy based on when I have time in my schedule to work.  I choose to stay at home. Having grown up with a working mother, I wanted to be home with my children if my husband and I could afford to do so, and I also based this decision on being a nanny throughout college. I would rather have fewer trips to the hair salon, fewer trips to get my nails done, drive an old car, and fewer clothes so that I can stay home with my children. In our early years of marriage, we rarely went out to dinner, did not have cable TV, and only went on vacations that were family visits. This is already getting long enough, so I will get to the point.  I am sad that in a day and era where women should have the right to choose the life they want to lead, instead, they are getting attacked. They are getting attacked by their very own, and at the same time, their very own are more likely to support the Black Lives Matter Cause or the LQBTQA movement.  Don't get me wrong, we should all support equal rights for all, but let's not forget that equal rights should include ourselves. Maybe I am reading it wrong, and some of the contempt comes from jealousy of moms who can't be stay-at-home moms, but even still, let's stop it.  We need to support one another!  We need to support stay-at-home moms and working moms. We need to be kind.  No one has it all!  What you see on social media is curated, and I am guilty of this, though I try to be as authentic as possible.  Remember that what you see on Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, or even in real life is usually only what that person wants you to see, and no one has rainbows and unicorns every day.  Let's be like Simone Biles and celebrate the wins of others.  Wouldn't it be a much better world if we criticized others less and focused on improving ourselves?  Just food for thought!